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Brave Strong Girl, Cancer, chemotherapy, Peace, rest, square up, treatment
I can’t believe it’s been almost a month since I posted. I apologize for the “silent treatment.” Sometimes when I am walking through things that are very uncertain, my natural tendency is to grow quite.
I have been battling rising tumor markers since last May. When those markers are on the increase they force me to search for the cause. They led to the discovery of brain lesions in October and now they have led us to discover some new activity in my liver.
I had hoped that at my six week follow up on January 21, that my markers would have continued to decline and reflect the healing I knew was complete in my brain. Instead they took a sharp increase. This led to more tests – MRI, Pet Scans, a second colonoscopy and a GI series. The pet scan revealed activity in my liver and last Thursday I had a liver biopsy, which confirmed lesions in my liver.
Today I begin chemotherapy again.
This morning I am already in the chair and receiving fluids. Mark is with me and I am ready to go. (Excuse the poor photo quality – the lighting is really awful. Mark is looking good this morning for sure! He’s making my view very attractive.)
I really wanted to avoid chemo this time as it is so demanding on the body, the spirit and the mind. More than that, it is taxing on my whole family and many friends. Regardless, this morning I have squared up. Since this has become the clear path to restoration – I am all in. No more whining. No more dread. No more delay.
John 14 is a whole chapter in the Bible about Jesus comforting his disciples. They were facing some significant “troubles”, most of which they had no way to prepare for or anticipate. It opens with the statement “Do not let your hearts be troubled.” Don’t let? Don’t allow? We are just like the disciples facing troubles on every side. Yet we have great authority to rule over our heart and emotions.
I’ve prayed often over the past week that God would give me peace. In verse 18 He said “Peace I give to you. Peace I leave with you.” I am not waiting on God to give me something. He is waiting on me to appropriate what I have already been given. I already possess the peace that passes understanding. Just like my experience of salvation, it is a free gift offered to me as a blessing. I have stopped asking for things I already possess and as I result, I feel the sweep of peace over my soul again.
In addition, the warrior has risen up on the inside of me. It is familiar sensation. I am full of faith and hope. For months I have refused to look cancer in the eye. I believe this strategy has been greatly frustrating to the enemy and greatly empowering for me. Now, I chose to look cancer straight in the face. I have squared up. I am facing off.
I have not surrendered the mandate of battling from a position of rest. Rather, I have drawn some additional weapons today that are offered up to God for Him to use. I am at peace, despite the seriousness of the situation. ( On a lighter note, I have gotten some good news in the last week. My recent brain MRI was excellent, showing a significant decrease in lesions and no additional activity.)
This morning I am seated in the same chair I first began chemo in 2009. I have been been well treated in this chair. Here I found hope and health and friendship. If you pray for me, please pray for rapid healing, effective treatment and no side effects.
Don’t forget to take good care of your own heart. Don’t allow it to be troubled. As Valentine’s Day is rapidly approaching, let’s remember the love we possess through Jesus is the most powerful weapon and the greatest tool we have to shape the human heart. Let’s use it wisely.
With endless love,
Jan
Just saw you yesterday at the office. Even with your mask on, you look wonderful. You look so healthy. I know your battle continues but you are such a good fighter. The Lord gives you His strength and a wonderful family to support you. What a blessing. May we all remember to pray for each other. Many of us look ok on the outside but are hurting on the inside. God help me to pray more. Thank you Lord for your never ending watch care. ❤
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Praying for you and drawing strength from your stance to face this enemy of cancer that wars against so many of my loved ones. We have the victory! It’s already been won! Bless you sweet lady. You are an inspiration!
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Thank you friend. You are so kind. Victory!
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distinctively effective efficient treatment leading to complete and rapid healing with the least possible physical impact so that You may be glorified by Your servant warrior in Jesus name
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Love you Mark Layton. Thanks for those prayers.
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Jan, I was made aware of what you’re going through from a Gateway friend. I read about what you’re enduring and it breaks my heart. I am dealing with similar things right now as well. I did nine weeks of chemotherapy in 2014 for Testicular cancer and hoped that was the end of it as my tumor markers decreased and my lymphnodes also decreased in size considerably. In November of last year it appeared that some of them were increasing in size once again, so it was onto an RPLND surgery, which is a lymphnode dissection. I now have a large abdominal incision that is getting better four weeks later, and have two weeks remaining of a six week no fat diet. That has been very hard for me to endure just as much as the surgery was. At the end of the month I will be doing one more round of chemo that will act as a clean up to the cancer they found from the pathology report post surgery. I say all this to be a shoulder to lean on as I know what it’s like to endure what you’re enduring. I know how it feels to be dealing with what feels like an endless disease. But through all of this I know that God is in control and he still does amazing things in the midst of our trials. I can’t count the many blessings He has done during the last two years for my family. I will be praying for you Jan and believing that God has many more miracles and blessings in store for you and your family.
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Hi Micah. So nice to meet you and thank you for sharing your testimony. “I know that God is in control and e still does amazing things in the midst of our trials.” This is so true. I’m proud of how you have navigated and I am encouraged by your model of faithfulness. I’ll be praying for you too as we each receive our miracles. Many blessings, Jan
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Jan, My name is Carol Robinson Marrs. Dale Robinson, Marcie’s husband, was my little brother. I met Mark in Amarillo at Dale’s funeral and life celebration a few years ago. We learned that day of our shared friend, Dana Hawkins. I have been following your health journey and felt moved to send you words of encouragement today. I think about you and your spiritual strength and your determination to fight the good fight and face each day with God’s unwavering love, mercy and grace. I am glad you have been praying for peace and feel a hope and faith to rise up as a warrior and to face off against this disease. God bless you and give you the daily strength you need! I will be praying for the things you specifically asked for and for you to feel the love, prayers and support of those who are deeply touched by your courageous and faithful health journey.
Blessings,
In His Care,
Carol Robinson Marrs
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Dear Carol. What an honor to meet you – even if by computer. Dale made a major mark on our family – even in the short number of years we shared together. He was a great dad and a fine husband. He battled well. Your encouragement is priceless to me. I am deeply blessed. Thank you for those prayers and for encouragement. I am truly trusting God for his perfect peace and miraculous healing. Please stay in touch. Much love,Jan
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You brave, BRAVE STRONG girl! We will settle for nothing less than the plan He gave! Over and over and over again we will take note from Hezekiah and resubmit so He can whisper yet again what He has already released into motion. “Mighty” is your name, given to you through the wrestle….
We listen, we wait, we partner, we persevere, we are resolute…..
You know my love for you….
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Sweet friend – you know I can’t make this walk without the faithful support of an intercessor and friend like you. We are resolute…I love you dearly. Jan
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Jan, we love and support you. Remember this time around, the ripples of your influence is global. Not only is your family, friends, and church supporting you, the Church, all around the world, is standing with you and praying, interceding and believing for you. You have great influence and significance, even in a season of physical weakness.
I pray you’d feel the comfort of the Holy Spirit and grace from the Father during this season. I’m sorry you are carrying this burden, I wish it wasn’t so. You are very loved, very prayed for and thought of. — alena moore
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Hi friend. I thought of our conversation in your car just earlier today as I was overcome with much love, support and prayers again. I am so grateful for the divine connections that reach beyond time and space. Thank you for those continued prayers and for being my friend. Much love, Jan
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I am standing in agreement with you for rapid healing, no side affects and the treatment to be effective. We must protect our heart and mind. Let nothing in that doesn’t line up with God’s word. It is vital in our life to take authority over the toxic words the enemy sends so we can hear clearly from our Commander and Chief. Thank you for being such a awesome example a strong women of God.
Joyce Stevens
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Joyce – this is such wise counsel – let nothing in my heart and mind that doesn’t line up withGod’s word. Yes and amen. Love you lots. Jan
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You are a Mighty Warrior Jan. Ken and I both are praying. Go take your promised land.
Love in Christ
Linda Day
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Love and appreciate you both so much. Your faithful intercession is a huge blessing to us.
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Jan-you inspire me. When I feel like “what can I do? How can I pray?” You post this encouraging me and reminding me to have peace and not be afraid. I love you. And as always- right next to you on the front lines ready for the fight and holding up your arms. ❤️❤️❤️
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Love you so much – and it’s you who inspire. I see you had surgery today. It made me thank God for his divine healing and asked him to give you a complete and speedy recovery. I’m holding your arms while you are holding up mine. I believe in you! Be well in Jesus name.
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I receive that hug. And I’m praying for you. We are well, In Jesus Name.
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I have on my SQUARE UP bracelet and will continue to wear it. You don’t square up alone. You have so many who love you, pray for you, and hold you up when your strength wanes. Thank you for your friendship, encouragement, and example. You’ve been prayed for and you are always loved!
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I love you friend. And I love those bracelets too. Such an encouragement to me.
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Right there with you Jan!
Our love from all of us at the River in Abilene!
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Thanks Benna. I feel your love. Give my greetings to everyone.
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You are more then Brave! Love and prayers…
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Jan, I am sending you a magnificently bountiful supply of love and support from your old distance friend here in Abilene. I am praying for rapid healing, effective treatment and no side effects. You are the greatest warrior among us all and I have nothing but love and admiration for you! You be blessed, my far away sister, and I want you to know that I have you on my prayer blog here at work. We have 53 active intercessors on our blog who will also be praying for you. We are a mighty bunch, and we are lifting you up through this journey as high as our hearts and hands can reach! We have a mighty Father and we know he hears us.
Lovingly holding you close, Kathy Byram
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What a blessing. Please thank your prayer team on my behalf. Surely my prayer bowls will tip and the fire of God will be flung to earth and I will be well. Love my Abilene family – so grateful. Love, jan
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Love you friend❤️Praying as a warrior❣
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Thank you – so appreciated.
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Jan, I’m praying for both you and Mark.
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Love you both.
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He who began a good work in you will carry it to completion! You are a brave woman. That was a beautiful post full of character and courage. love and prayers
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Thank you sweet friend. Let it be!
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Praying for His powerful presence as you obey the docs and wait expectantly on your healing. Praying in agreement for you ~ “Rapid healing, extremely effective treatment and NO SIDE EFFECTS in Jesus name!” You are one brave woman of God and He is shining on and through you! You are greatly loved by many and this inconvience you are facing makes me mad at the enemy! But we will choose to trust that nothing takes our Father by surprised and He obviously trusts you to keep squaring up and walking THROUGH! I love you!
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He thinks I’m up for more than I think I can handle. He’ll have to do the heavy lifting. Thanks for those prayers. They are so appreciated. I love you too.
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I am praying for you my friend 🙂
I will be praying the prayer you have requested. I believe you will receive rapid healing, effective treatment and no side effects in Jesus name.
I wish I was there to hug you.
Love you!!!!
Angela Tyree
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