I find it interesting that cancer has manifested within the visual cortext of my brain. It’s in the back left lobe and is impacting my vision and sometimes my balance in a negative manner.
The other day two friends and I sat down in the floor on my living room rug and began to talk to God together. As we prayed, we asked the Lord what I needed to know about my healing this time around.
I immediately saw the CyberKnife in my minds eye and in the same moment had the thought that the Lord is light. The CyberKnife works by projecting a fine stream of light and waves in tiny fractions at a specific trajectory to destroy the lesions.
God showed me that he himself is coming to heal me as light through this machine. He, in his infinite mercy and wisdom, has allowed man to channel a fraction of his infinite light and manage it in such a precise measure as to project, direct and release the power of that light through this machine.
I was reminded when Moses asked to see God’s glory and the Lord set him within the cleft of the rock and told him to look away, saying I will cause all my goodness (some versions say his glory) to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the Lord, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. But, he said, you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live. Genesis 33:19-20
I realized that if God released His full light on me, it would destroy me. My flesh could not withstand it. Yet by taking his infinite glory and light and shaving it down to such a small beam, he is in effect setting me in the cleft while he proclaims his name over me and allows his goodness to pass by. All that is required of me is to obey, to get into the cleft, to lie down, to submit, to rest. As I surrender myself to his treatment, all his goodness is passing by.
When I lie on the machine each day – I look at the head of the device and I have begun to thank God that he would humble himself in such a manner on my behalf. Who am I that God would go out of His way to so carefully meet my need for healing? He is the same God that so humbly submitted himself to become a man, entrusted himself as an infant to the care of a teenage mother and who laid down his divinity in order to become a sacrifice for my every need.
With each click and shutter reset, he’s giving me such divine attention. He’s using his light to seek out and destroy the darkness of cancer and he’s doing it all within the optical processing center of my brain.
The visual cortex is where you actually process light. Light pours in through the optic nerve and strikes the rods and cones at the back of the eye. When the light comes, it creates images, vision, sight. Here is where you recognize color, brightness and contrast. Some would say this is the place of illumination, revelation and inspiration. God is not only healing me but He is in fact showing me His glory. And as His glory passes over my eyes, I will see.
I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes in me should stay in darkness. I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life. John 8:12
So this leads me to a couple of specific prayer requests – one natural – one supernatural.
One of the side effects of this treatment is that it can produce edema (swelling) at the site of treatment. Because of the special protection around the brain, it takes a little longer to wash away the dead cells that are being produced with each treatment. If they remain they can press against my brain extending the damage to my sight, creating a sense of instability and increasing the visual disturbances. Would you please pray that in the next two weeks my brain would completely be washed by my immune system? That every single residue of cancer and the corresponding fluid would be washed away? That the tissue of my brain would be clean, healthy, vibrant and able to be restored? I am asking God to not just destroy darkness but restore my sight.
I am also asking God to increase my prophetic insight. I desire to do more than to see in the natural. I want to understand the things of the Holy Spirit. I’m asking God to make me a better “seer”, a better encourager, a better receiver. I want the enemy to so regret that he would attempt to interrupt my direct line of communication with the Holy Spirit and I want my life to amplify the tiny shaft of the light of God within me.
Thank you for your continued outpouring of love and support. My family and I feel your prayers. I have shared that in moments, I feel cocooned in them. Safe, carried, loved. You are the most extraordinary people – faithful and true. I am grateful beyond measure for your compassion and love.