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We got off to a good start this morning.  Mark drove me to Dale Lipshy University Hospital this morning and we got round one of Cyberknife treatment completed.

Everything went well.  The hardest part is being completely still for 45 minutes.  I told my sister-in-law, Julie, that I felt like a toddler in church.  I can’t believe how my heart was pounding, I kept trying to swallow without moving and my eyes kept popping open and close.  The more I tried to be still the more I strained.  Finally I admitted my need for the rest, took a deep breath and decided it was time to just submit.  That helped and I began to relax.

I told Julie about my experience and she shared this note that she heard a psychiatrist share recently: Part of her fellowship study was child development and she had to observe small children.  And as she watched, she saw them walk and fall.  And sometimes they got hurt, but they got up and walked again because they knew walking was the only way to explore and experience the world.  From the beginning we are trained to get back up, roll over, square up and experience the world.

I think that pretty much sums up my first 45 minutes on the table – square up – try again.

When I returned to Mark I felt a little strange – I realized it’s kind of like I feel when mom and I go and get the special 70 minute reflexology.  I’m out of it for a few minutes in a good way – just quite and still.  Maybe I’ll submit more quickly tomorrow – after all – I’m probably having the most expensive “spa” treatment of my life.

Thanks today for some special gifts — To Mark first.  He took me on a scary trip, made it fun and then took me to lunch at Lucky’s on Oak Lawn Avenue.  (It was so good!  We recommend it.) Thanks to Laurinda Dunn for the Be Brave album from Bethel.  It played throughout my treatment and helped me focus on worship as a way to calm myself.  When I got home I had a beautiful bouquet of red roses and a fun little card from Deb Dutton.  Deb – we will talk some more later about Annie Oakley and mission trips.  (Inside joke!)

One final thought for the night.  A friend sent this to me from Max Lucado devotion.  Did you hear his message this week from Gateway Church?  If not – it is a must listen. This little thought speaks directly to the strategy God is speaking to me – keep my eyes, my mind, my thoughts, my attitudes only on God…

Don’t face Satan by facing Satan. Face Satan by facing God. Don’t give Old Scratch the time of day. Colossians 2:15 says, “God stripped the spiritual rulers and powers of their authority. With the cross he won the victory and showed the world that they were powerless.”

Well – yes and amen!  Keeping my eyes on Jesus and trusting that Satan and all his plans to destroy my life have been rendered powerless.  Praying for you too – that together we’d lean into Jesus and away from fear – that we might find Christ faithful and rest in Him.

Thanks for stopping by!

Love,

Jan

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