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Many people have been asking me what happened? I thought it might be wise to just tell a few more details for those of you who would like to know. I promise to keep the majority of my post much shorter.
Over the last several months I’ve been having one of my tumor markers consistently increasing. About twelve weeks ago I went through an extensive series of screenings: CT, Bone Scan, Pet Scan, Colonoscopy, and extensive blood work only to be given the “all clear” time after time. There was no evidence of disease. In a proactive approach, we changed my medications and agreed to check back in eight weeks. If all was well, my numbers would cease to climb and we would return to our normal quarterly evaluations.
When I went back last Friday for that eight week check up my physician just wasn’t quite himself. He kept saying “you look good” but his face kept saying he was concerned. As he quizzed me over any symptoms or problems, I mentioned to him that I had been having some visual disturbances in my right eye and a few migraine headaches.
That was enough.
The following Wednesday I had a brain CT.
On Thursday morning while driving to work, I got a phone call from his office asking me to come in immediately. At that moment I knew.
I pulled over to the side of the road and while I was putting the car in park to give myself a moment to process, I had a quick vision. I saw a picture of myself in Matthew’s football uniform. (He’s a sophomore at Flower Mound High School and one of only two sophomores playing on the varsity team. We think he’s a pretty big deal.) When I saw myself in his uniform, I chuckled. (Think David wearing Saul’s armor.) Then I heard the Lord say “square up.”
Matthew is a linebacker and all of our boys have played defense during their high school years. Recently Matthew was explaining to me that all of his training had taught him to approach another player and square up before hitting him. You align your hips and shoulders and get as low as possible in order to get the safest and most impactful block or tackle. A good linebacker can stop an offensive player right in their tracks.
I instantly knew God was telling me to get on the defense and square up. This is going to be a fight. My job is to prepare myself to approach this problem head on. I want to “strip the ball” from the enemies hands. I’d like to cause a fumble. I’d even like a “pick six.”
I stopped and called Mark to share the bad news and the good vision. Then I turned around and drove up Interstate 121 to meet with my doctor.
He immediately let me know there was a lesion on my brain. We scheduled an MRI for the afternoon at the hospital across the street and set an appointment for the following Friday morning with a neurosurgeon at UT Southwestern.
The next morning I drove to downtown Dallas and met with a radiology oncologist who opened my MRI and gave me some more bad news. As it turns out I have two lesions and they are causing some swelling in my head that has impacted my visual processing center – thus – weird auras and migraines.
He immediately sent me downstairs to meet with another neurosurgeon who operates a very specialized radiation device called a Cyber Knife. (Just to be clear, there is no surgery planed – this is a laser.) Without even having an appointment, filling out a form or giving him a co-pay, he met with me in the bowels of Parkland Hospital and assured me he had the skills, experience and confidence to help me. He agreed to meet me at 4:00 that afternoon in his office to go ahead and complete a simulation so that I can begin the treatment as soon as possible. The radiation treatment is pretty straight forward. It’s a focused laser beam that will destroy the lesions in my head. It will do so with little side effect (I hope) and little fatigue. I will only have five treatments over ten days.
After that comes the part that is a bit more difficult. I must redo many of the scans I just completed twelve weeks ago to be certain that there is no disease anywhere else in my body. Once that is completed, it appears I will have to begin chemotherapy again.
I feel peace and calm. I am not tormented and for that I am grateful. Because God gave me that immediate vision and word, I have no sense that this is unto death. I am simply trying to walk in the grace God is giving me in this moment, and not take on the worries of tomorrow.
Some people are asking how they can help. Our needs are few right now. Prayer for my healing and for my family are utmost on my mind. I feel the wind of prayer all around us and our children are standing faithful. I also love notes of encouragement. You can send me a comment here, a text, an email, a Facebook post or even an old-fashioned, snail-mail card. I will read them everyone, I promise.
I remember last time that many people went to a lot of trouble to organize and bring us food. Since we are such a smaller family now (only three of us at home) and because I don’t know exactly how things are going to progress, if you feel prompted to serve us in this way, a restaurant gift card would be a tremendous blessing to us.
So here’s the good news that I can see today. God has provided for me all three methods of His healing. Pastor Robert Morris taught a few months ago on our healing God and he shared three ways that God heals: miraculously, naturally and medically. Jesus is a physician that has access to everything I need to be made well. He has placed me face to face (within 24 hours) with two of the premiere physicians in the nation to help me with my specific problem. That’s medical healing. He’s demonstrated to me for six years how powerfully He can hold me in a position of miraculous healing. And I know my body is a healing machine and as I get my immune system into alignment and into a healthy strength, it will arise and naturally heal my body. That’s natural healing.
So thanks for reading so much detail and for hanging with me through this first post. I look forward to sharing a little about my journey and a lot about the goodness of our God. I have faith because He is faithful. (Hebrews 10:23)
Thank you for your love and support,
Jan
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Jan, you have been such an encouragement to many of us who have walked with you and prayed for you. God is going before you and fighting for you. This song has been speaking to my heart recently so I wanted to share it with you. I love you and know that you are on my heart daily. I’m standing with you 😘 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=n5KNck6k5OY
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Sorry, I was logged into Sians account lol. This was Lindsey 🙂
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Thanks Lindsey. Loving this song. Thanks for the encouragement – I love you too.
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What are your family’s favorite places to eat out?
And would any grocery store gift cards serve you as well, for fresh foods (I’m thinking of fresh fruits and veggies, easliy prepared for snacking, etc…maybe?) – and if so which store/s?
I’m a bit far to attend Gateway but visit as often as I can and have loooved Pink Impact since I was introduced 4 years ago. I’ll be praying and following along as you walk the path set before you. Many prayers for strength & courage as you square up!
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Hi Shelby – Thanks for these sweet questions. I just put up a little post with some suggestions and a mailing address. Your post reminded me that getting something like to me could be tough. I added your idea for groceries too – so smart. Thank you for helping me help you and a few others. I see you are a bit away to attend Gateway – but I am super excited to hear you attend Pink Impact. (Me too!) Maybe we can connect in person next May. Thanks again for the awesome help.
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I had started attending Gateway seven years ago when my battle began going thru breast cancer and a the breakup of my marriage. I believe i was just behind you in treatment and your walk was an encouragement to me. My three girls and I did not walk in fear or worry, God had kept us in His perfect peace. Have recently had a scare with a reoccurrence in the bones. Praying for you and your sweet family! God is with his precious daughter. Thank you for sharing your journey! Thru your voice or pen many others hear His voice/word/love.You have encouraged so many to be strong in the Lord! Blessings to you! Lifting you up!
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Hi Kristine, I am so grateful for this reminder of God’s faithfulness. I’ll be praying for you too. I know how the on-going requirements of screening wear on the body, the spirit and the pocket book. Praying you walk well all the days of your life. Thanks for those prayers.
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Jan,
I honestly have no words other than I love you!! My prayers are the tears & groanings of the Spirit & I know He intercedes mightily on your behalf. Forever grateful that He intercepted you with a word & vision before the devil could complete his pass of torment & fear.
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I know you are with me. I love you too.
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Love your faithfulness Jan! You are such an encouragement to others. I will be praying for a quick healing!
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You are a blessing.
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Standing with you shouldered in prayer. God is faithful!!
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I’m so sad to miss the trip I can hardly stand it. I’ll be praying from here but my heart is bleeding a little. Feel like the enemy got to steal a blessing from me. I appreciate all your hard work and preparation. I’ll stand guard in the spirit. Love you ladies a lot.
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Praying for you and your family Jan. Thanks for your transparency that blesses so many.
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Praying for your complete healing. Shall your family feel calmness as you stand strong in your vision. You are such an inspiration. Much love,
Jennifer
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I’ve been watching your journey and I see you are well on the road to total healing – complete recovery. Congratulations. You’ve been fearless and an example of faith, family and love. I feel like I know you. Thank you for reaching out. I love your family.
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Jan, You are so gracious and brave, but this just stinks, 100%. God is good and I love how He immediately gave you an encouraging vision, however!! I have no doubt He will go before you and be right beside you in this fight, as will all of us who love you. I’ll be sword-wielding in the heavenlies for you and your complete healing to God’s glory!!! Nothing is too big or small for Him!! Rest in His love and in that of those around you. You got this!! Much love x
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Thank you Carma – and I agree – 100% stinks. Let the healing begin.
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Dear sweet Jan – I’m so very sorry you have to fight this monster again. You are a testimony of strength and faith, even on your weak days. I treasure each time I’m able to witness you encourage and exhort people around you, and I pray that encouragement is returned to you many times over. You are a true blessing to all who come in contact with you and all who have the opportunity to hear you speak or teach. I can’t begin to tell you how much you have impacted my life whether it be how you handle a situation in a meeting or whether it be boldly speaking truth into a young woman’s life. I love you and will be walking with you in prayer as you go through this season. ~Marci Elliott
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Sweet friend – thanks for the note and for the sweet encouragement. I love you too.
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I love you, Jan, and will be lifting you and your precious family up in prayer.
Love and hugs to you,
Rebecca (Pierce) Monroe
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Love you Rebecca.
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Jan,
Mark just told me the news. My heart breaks that you must walk this road again. We will “square up” in prayer with you petitioning and believing for your healing. Your testimony already brings glory to our God. May you feel his arms around you.
Love,
Sharon Henderson
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He stopped by my office today and gave me the biggest hug. I was encouraged.
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Aaron and I are praying for you right now Jan! We love you so much!
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Glad I got to see your face today. It always makes me happy.
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Jan, Olen and I are praying, standing, and believing with you through this season. It IS a season and we’re believing God will carry you through on the “wings of THE Dove”. We love you!
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Precious friend – thank you.
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Love, Hugs and Prayers! You can do this Ps Jan!!! 🙂
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Jan, I will be standing and believing with you!!! I just went through having a malignant brain tumor removed 08/26 and had the stereotactic Radiosurgery on Fri. of this last week, also in downtown Dallas at Texas Oncology at Sammons Cancer center. Sounds like God is providing amazing medical care (as He did with me) and has
provided our miraculous healing (on the cross), also. (1st Peter 2:24)!!! Girl, I am in this battle with you declaring our healing!!!! PLEASE let me know if I can do ANYTHING for you or your family or have any questions about my radiation, even though it was a bit different. I am a friend of Melynda Blackburn, and Ashley Boss’s Mom, if you don’t remember me. God bless you, brave, strong Girl!!!
Denise Gardner
Ps:118:17!!!
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Denise – of course I know who you are – I’ve been praying for you. Melynda is so sweet to keep me posted. I know you are in the heat of the battle – yet you will be like Shadrach, Meschach and Abedinigo (excuse my spelling) – coming through the fire without smoke, Let’s lean into Jesus and be well. You are greatly loved.
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Thank you, Jan. We will link arms and come out victorious in Jesus!!! God bless you!!!!
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HE is your STRONG TOWER!!! RESOLUTE! RESOLUTE! RESOLUTE! You are loved, cherished, adored, sanctified, redeemed & HEALED! I am standing with you and praying for you every chance I get. Thank you for letting us love you and your family. We are here as always and wait with great anticipation the many heart stories that the Lord is going to do through you. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!
p.s. I want to bring you some Rita’s 🙂
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I love that you remember the key of resolute. He’s refreshing it for me daily. I love you – and I love rita’s.
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Jan, Thank you do much for sharing about your current challenge and Gods equipping and provision through it all. I’ve already been lifting you up to Papa and agreeing with heaven about you. You are lavishly loved and abundantly and powerfully provided for. It’s already written in heavens books this God Scenario And it’s good. Love that picture of you staring up in Matthews football jersey. Focus on His eyes now.
With you all the way,
Rick and Dianne Bennett
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Love you faithful friend.
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Oh, Jan!! I am so sorry you are dealing with all this! Sending you big hugs and joining my faith with many others for your total healing! ❤️❤️❤️
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Still praying for you – I see God’s grace on your family.
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Please continue to update us, Jan……you are such an excellent writer and an encourager. Maybe I should encourage you, but it seems you encourage me. So, keep writing and know that others care and are holding you up in prayer! Love, Sharon How is your Mom? I feel as long as you handle this like a pro (and you do), she will be okay and strong for you. Hang in there!
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Will do! Mom is weak from a recent round of illness/hospitalization. But mostly she’s brave and strong. Where else would I get it?
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Praying with you and for you through this. May no weapon formed against you prosper, and that whatever the enemy intended to harm you be used by your Abba Father for good. Because of Him, HOPE PREVAILS!! Sending Love and Prayers!
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You know I love you — I’m still working on my endorsement. Don’t give up on me. It got a little crazy this week, but I’ll get it done.
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Thank you for the example of faith that you are to so many. Praying God’s richest blessings for you and your family. Praying for His grace to be sufficient and His healing hand strong on your behalf.
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Thank you so much.
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Jan,
Thank you for sharing these details. We will be covering you in prayers and encouragement throughout this journey. Thankful for quick acting Drs and treatment. You are a fighter Jan. I love you my friend.
Megan
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Miss you friend – and appreciate you so much.
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Jan,
You shared with me on 8/28/2005 to interchange the word ‘you’ with my name, ‘Mike’ in Isaiah 42:6-9.
I can’t help but to ask you to interchange the word, ‘her’ for your name in these responses Jesus had to women with sickness. (Luke 8, 13)
Then he said to her [Jan], “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.”
And again,
When Jesus saw her [Jan], “Woman, you are set free from your infirmity.” Then he put his hands on her and immediately she straightened up and praised God.
And again,
Don’t be afraid; just believe and she will be healed.
Back to your football vision… It’s legal to double team your opponent. That means WE ALL are in this fight WITH YOU ready to double team OUR adversary.
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.”
Crista and I love you and are with you.
Thank you for being there for me and praying with me during my sickness this year.
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I love this – love everything about it. Jesus – set me free from infirmity and let my faith arise to the point that it makes me well.
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Jan,
Praying for you right now and in the days to come. I had a brain lesion and cyber knife and it worked well. Trusting God with you and your family for complete healing. Bless you!
Dave Hampson
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Praying for you too Dave. Be well in Jesus name.
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You are a courageous and faithful woman! Our prayers are with you. God bless and hugs, Holly Smith
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Thanks Holly. Love you lots.
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Jan. I love you. I am behind you and your family 100%!
Knowing you were supporting me and praying for me through all of my “stuff” was so very helpful. I pray I can add to you even a PORTION of the faith and love you helped add to me.
Love you!
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Lacey, You are a model of perseverance I can admire and follow. You showed us all the way to healing. Thanks for those prayers.
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I love this vision, how powerful and comforting. Praying for you and the family. Believing in a victorious fumble!
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I love you.
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I love that God is so sweet to give you this vision. As I was thinking of what to write I had a vision of you in your football uniform squaring up and you know how sometimes when the team is just short a yard and trying to score they will give the ball to the toughest, strongest player and the other players will get behind “her” and literally combine their strength and push her over the goal line to score (that is so not good football language but hopefully you followed that :))?? That’s me (and all of your other dear friends). I’m behind you and pushing you forward in prayer. Declaring healing and health over every part of your body in Jesus’ name. Praying that peace will rule your heart and mind and that you will feel the strength and bravery that we all see you walking in. Thank you for sharing your journey and allowing us to pray.
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Kelli – love this kind of talk. Thanks for the visual. I feel the whole team with me. I feel the support so sweetly.
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What a beautiful vision from the Lord to “square up.” Love you Jan!
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I am absolutely convinced and fully confident in your 3 fold healing. I’ll do my part and pray daily, I promise. I will definitely provide restaurant gift cards too. I love you dear woman of God.
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This brought me to tears this morning, as I am suddenly facing something for which I need to “square up” (my husband was a linebacker in high school when we started dating, so that made me smile!). Your faith has greatly bolstered mine. Thank you!
You and your family are in my prayers and I look forward to rejoicing with you as we continue to see the mighty hand of the Lord work on your behalf!
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Praying for you tonight – you can do it. Square up with God and He will empower your progress.
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Praying for you! You and my mom have been on a similar trajectory. My mom’s cancer returned this past March. She had a mastectomy in April, and has been doing chemo since June, and will continue to do so into the new year. You are both WARRIORS fighting in a battle. Be Strong and Courageous! God is taking each step with you. Hugs!
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Sorry to hear about your mom but she sounds strong. I’ll pray for her.
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Standing with you, Jan. God is working in the places we can not see.
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Oh Jan. Squaring up with you on that defensive line. May God move in unseen places for His eternal glory. ❤️
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Love that. Thank you friend.
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